There are two total free bars in the place, and they’re dedicated to bench press — don’t even think of moving one of them or the Smile Police will assault you and put you in your place with pleasant condescension akin to being blackmailed by Mormons. Everything else is a purple machine that makes you really good at building functional muscle perfectly suited to push a car off your crushed toddler, but only if its at exactly a 37-degree angle, seated.

You’re not allowed to wear bandanas. Personally, I believe in this rule, because as far as I’m concerned, bandanas are suited only for gypsy heads and around the necks of German shepherds, but Planet Fitness has a different reason! Bandanas promote gang violence! I’m not sure if this is because the Planet Fitness CEO cried during Boyz N Da Hood, but to be fair, I didn’t work out at the PF on Crenshaw. When it comes to gang violence, PF sez ”Squash it!”

You’re not allowed to bring in water containers larger than 20 oz. Who the fuck would even think of this? Apparently, this is because dreaded meatheads will bring in a full gallon of water for a workout! Our targeted member demographic would never exert themselves enough to drink more than 20 oz. of water during a workout! Water fountain? Fuck that. I’d sooner drink out of Tubgirl.

Membership sucks too. Let’s say you pay $20 for a black card membership. You have access to all gyms. NOOO!!!! They count how many time’s you go in a month. After you reach a # they tell you your not allow to used this gym until next month.

I am so upset with PF right now!!!!! Finishing up my workout hitting a personal best right at closing time running at 7.5 which for me is full speed and the power is completely cut off. Not, sure if you have ever been on a treadmill with the power getting cut but it is a lot like a broom stick being stuck in the spokes on the front tire of a bike going full speed. Scarey feeling like you are going right over the top of the tread mill but even more frustrating is the swelling on my knee … See More

Like · · 14 hours ago ·

Billy Morris I just drove across town to PF and the doors were locked…my clock said I had atleast 20 mins…who knows how long they had been locked before I showed. I can get a sweat on in 20 minutes…that was a little frustrating…now driving to a 24 hr club that just opened
14 hours ago via mobile · Like.

Planet Fitness Hi Bill, and Billy – Could you please forward your posts using the Contact Corporate link under our profile picture? They will be happy to look into them for you. Thank you!
3 hours ago · Like.

Bill Grant There is no contact corporate link that is what I asked for last night and was told I would have to contact corporate through the web site which I tried. I was also told the manager would call me this morning that has not happened either. I suppose the only other option I have is contacting an lawyer to find out how responsible PF is. The saddest thing is instead of making excuses and making someone jump through hoops to get a point across a simple apology and commitment to change would have probably worked.